She Holds You Captivated
by xXLookAPandaXx
Summary: When she was by her lonesome she had nobody to fight, nobody to prove wrong...


**Title:** She Holds You Captivated In Her Sight

**Fandom: **Degrassi TNG

**Rating**: PG-13

**Main Characters: **Holly J Sinclair, Mia Jones

**Pairings:** Mia/Holly J

**Plot: **

Holly J Sinclair didn't always have to be the bad apple.

----------------------------------------

_"This is going to be the epitome of fabulousity"- Simon, Beautiful People_

_---------------------------------------_

Holly J Sinclair wasn't all that bad, no, she had a soft spot somewhere in her heart. Not that alot of people would see the more gentle side of her. After all, acording to the illustrious Sinclairs showing any emotion that might be associated with kindness and caring was considered a weakness. OR, at least that was the case with her elder sister Heather, and Holly soon found herself following the same concept like a puppy. But, Holly J wasn't as cold hearted as she appeared. It was just, at school she had a nasty reputation to keep up, to shine and polish. She had to out do her sister, put her to shame. Holly thrived on claiming the title of _Degrassi queen bee. _And she'd built herself up as someone who cared for nothing else other than that.

But, Mia Jones knew better than to believe that Holly J was the monster she appeared to be on the outside. It was an odd concept that Holly would never understand about Mia, how she could openly judge people so positively. Fuck if Holly could grasp what the teenage mother saw in such a boyfriend as Peter, the self proclaimed bad boy of Degrassi with a principle for a mommy. Honestly, the boy could get away with almost everything and all he would get was a detention. It made Holly J scoff. How could a girl take him seriously was beyond her. And sometimes, Holly J wished she could give Mia the credit of being smart enough not to deal with him. After

all, some part of the Sinclair thought that the teenage mother deserved someone so much better. Someone up to her status. Not that Holly J really cared if Mia were to ever find that one certain person that fit her. _And it totally wasn't like Holly J sometimes contemplated if Mia ever considered a girl._

She'd never openly admit it, not to anyone really except maybe Spinner and perhaps Jay, that she had a soft spot for Mama Mia. She pitied her, almost cared whether the girl could properly take care of herself or not. It wasn't like Holly J _wanted _or _cared _to be friends with her. She didn't really need friends, or too many of them anyways. Still, at times Holly J really felt all alone, without anyone to talk to, and that's when she'd allow herself to open up to the other girl, when they were alone by a once shared locker.

She didn't have many friends, hell for a long time she felt lost without Anya under her wing and guidance. But, Holly J was learning as quickly as she could allow herself, that...maybe perhaps on occasions she would need someone to trust. And, in turn in order to gain that one trust worthy person, she'd have to become...a little more...personal and...friendly. Imagine that, Holly J Sinclair being friendly. To some, just hearing that concept would make them burst out in laughter. Spinner, and Jay, they had become something that could be considered "friends" to Holly, and...in a way she appreciated them. An odd mix, that they were...sure, Jay and Spinner made sense. But throw Holly J in, and it suddenly was nothing more than a bundle of confusion. Like she was a monkey wrench. What would make these three come together, and why would someone like Holly J spend time with two people who seemed to contradict everything that she was? But, perhaps...why Holly J felt so comfortable at the Dot with the two older guys was because in a way they _understood _her---and never before had the strawberry blond ever been understood.

A tight lipped smile etched its way across Holly J's face as she looked around the Dot, the one place she felt comfortable. Here, she was able to collect her thoughts all while earning a well deserved paycheck that she only wished she could spend on herself. But, she couldn't. That's where Blue had been wrong. He had called her selfish, time and time again, but would someone who seemed to be so constantly selfish really bother to get a job to support her family and not herself? If only he knew. Holly J would never tell him the truth. But this thought didn't make her smile falter, because fuck--she was proud of herself, yeah. It had taken alot for her to admit to Spinner that financially, her family was in trouble. And, he knew. And, that meant at least one person knew deep down that Holly J wasn't as selfish as she seemed.

Her dark gaze sped about in their sockets, taking in the look of the Dot. It was empty now, and she had been all too happy to close for Spinner. It was the least she could do for someone that meant so much--not that she would admit to that. When she was by herself, in such a place as this...she didn't feel a need to be nasty or manipulative. Here, Holly J could escape herself and the reputation she had been pinned with. When all alone, Holly J wasn't a monster, because when she was by her lonesome she had nobody to fight, nobody to prove wrong. The edges of her mouth twitched upwards, as she locked the restraunt doors behind her. For now, in the silence of the lonely street, she was herself...and not a sinner. In a time like this, the younger Sinclair liked to believe that maybe for once it wouldn't be too selfish of her to call herself a saint.

-----


End file.
